


Someone to Chase those Memories Away

by purpleswans



Series: Bleach / Tokyo Ghoul AU [3]
Category: Bleach, Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Captivity, Childhood Trauma, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Implied/Referenced Torture, Past Torture, Starvation, Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-07
Updated: 2015-04-07
Packaged: 2018-03-21 16:55:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,624
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3699968
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/purpleswans/pseuds/purpleswans
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Toshiro is haunted by memories of his past, but he seems to forget about them when he's with a certain girl.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Someone to Chase those Memories Away

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! This is my contribution to Hitsukarin Week 2015 day 3. Since the prompt was crossover and I already had this universe in existence, I decided to expand on it rather than trying to come up with another Bleach AU. I originally was thinking of doing something cute with Toshiro and Karin going to school (I kinda touched on that at the end of this,) but then I thought "Hey! Isn't Toshiro a white-haired character? And in Tokyo Ghoul, white hair usually means one thing: pain. As a result, this happened.
> 
> This also allowed me to start interweaving my Bleach characters into the canon Tokyo Ghoul story-line. I included two Tokyo Ghoul characters in this, you should be able to spot them since I wasn't very subtle (and they're in the character tags.) I do have other plans to connect Bleach characters to Tokyo Ghoul, but some of them I want to wait for more information before I write about them.
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own Tokyo Ghoul or Bleach

_“Shiro-chan, did you try running away again? You should know by now that Mama will always find you.”_

_The little boy struggled against the shackles holding his wrists behind his back, attached to a dirty wall stained with blood. “That’s not true! Momo-nee got away.”_

_His companion, another young boy wearing a girl’s dress, shook his head. “Mama didn’t care about Momo-chan as much as us. Momo-chan was too old when Mama found her, and she isn’t pretty like Mama, you, and me. Mama let Momo-chan go, but she won’t do the same for us.”_

_The constrained boy grit his teeth at the other. “Mama is ugly and blind! Momo-nee, Momo-nee is…” his voice broke into sobs. “Momo-nee, I miss you. Why did you leave me? Why didn’t you take me with you? Didn’t you promise to take care of me after Granny died? Didn’t you say you’d protect me when Mama took us?”_

_The cross-dressing boy observed the other’s breakdown with an impassive expression. When the sobs had changed into heavy breathing, he spoke. “You know, I’m really jealous of you Shiro-chan. You have someone other than Mama.”_

“Shiro-chan? Shiro-chan, are you even listening to me?”

Toshiro pushed the unpleasant memories out of his mind to glare at his older sister. “Momo-nee, I told you not to call me that anymore. I’m not a little kid anymore.” He grabbed an empty coffee cup and started making the next order.

Momo pursed her lips. “I’ve known you almost your entire life, Toshiro. You’ll always be Shiro-chan to me”

Toshiro didn’t reply. He just couldn’t tell her. He had deliberately kept her in the dark about just how cruel Mama could be, and never had the heart to tell her how after she left he had become “Mama’s little Shiro-chan” alongside Rei-chan. He just couldn’t burden (or was it trust?) Momo-nee with that kind of information.

Toshiro continued making coffee for a while, ignoring Momo’s attempts to engage him in conversation. For some reason, he didn’t have any patience for her today. It wasn’t clear to Toshiro whether it was because of normal teenage angst, his recent flashback, or something else. Whatever it was, Toshiro had to fight against the urge throw the kettle of boiling water at the girl every time she called him that childish nickname.

“Shiro-chan, can you make a large cappuccino?”

Bang!

Toshiro set the coffee pot back in its place a little more forcefully than necessary. “Stop calling me that,” he demanded, his voiced a tad louder than was acceptable for polite conversation.

A hand grabbed Toshiro’s shoulder, making him freeze. He turned around and saw a familiar, kind face.

“Toshiro-kun, how about you take a break?” Ukitake asked him with an understanding smile. He slipped a brown paper bag into the youth’s hands. “I brought some of those sweets you like. Why don’t you go to the staff room and enjoy them?”

Toshiro took a deep breath to calm himself and nodded. Ukitake was probably the closest person to Toshiro at the Seireitei Coffee Shop other than Momo. Somehow, the older man was able to realize exactly what Toshiro needed even then the youth didn’t know himself. So, when Ukitake told Toshiro to take a break, it would be a good idea to do what he said. With this in mind, Toshiro clutched the brown paper bag and made his way to the staff room upstairs.

Once he closed the door behind him, Toshiro released a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding. Working was always hard (well, that’s why it’s called work,) but for Toshiro it was especially difficult because he didn’t have much experience pretending to be human.

Toshiro’s and Momo’s parents had been killed by doves when he was still a baby. They lived with their grandmother for most of Toshiro’s childhood. Because she was old and frail and couldn’t fight off the doves anymore, their Granny didn’t let them get involved in the human world and homeschooled them. When Toshiro was ten, their Granny died while gathering food. This left the siblings alone and forced to fend for themselves. They took to the street and probably would have been fine if it weren’t for the sudden appearance of Mama…

_“Oh, this is wonderful!” An obese, disgusting woman clapped her chubby hands and laughed, “Such a rare, legendary kagune! I hope you realize how precious you are, my little Hitsugaya-chan…”_

_“Uh, my name is Hinamori… Granny says Mommy’s name used to be Hitsugaya, but she changed it to dad’s when she married him,” The young man corrected, confused by the woman’s elated words._

_The woman leaned down to meet his eyes with a disconcerting, toothy grin. “That’s all details, Hitsugaya-chan. You inherited you’re mother’s kagune, and that’s the part that makes you so valuable. That cute face of yours is just an added bonus.” She roughly pinched his cheeks, making the boy grimace. “And you’re all mine, Shiro-chan.”_

Toshiro plopped down on the sofa and opened the paper bag. It was filled with light brown sugar cubes. At least, to the casual observer they would look like sugar cubes. In reality there wasn’t any sugar in them. Toshiro didn’t know what the exact ingredients were, but Ukitake made them for some of the ghoul customers and employees. It was intended to be dissolved in coffee to help take the edge off a ghoul’s hunger, but Toshiro had discovered that they were really tasty by themselves. The first time the others caught Toshiro eating them like this, he had been terrified that they would punish him or something. But Ukitake had just laughed and started make some extras to give to Toshiro whenever they saw each other.

Toshiro plopped one of the sweets in his mouth. The texture was rough against his tongue a second before it dissolved and covered his entire mouth in a saccharine syrup. He swallowed, relishing in both the taste and the small ebb in his hunger. Toshiro wasn’t particularly hungry, but considering the fact that he’d experienced true starvation, he didn’t want go without food more than he had to.

_His stomach was growling. The sense of hunger originally came in waves: it would be intolerable for about an hour, then it would simmer down to a dull ache for a while. Now that it had been nearly an entire month since the last time he had gnawed on the scraps Mama left him, the sense of emptiness and the urge to kill and consume anything was constant and ever-growing. He rubbed his wrists against the metal entrapping them, drawing crimson liquid from barely-healed wounds. Toshiro wished that he could maneuver his hands to lap up his own blood._

_The door opened, and the most alluring scent Toshiro had ever sensed filled the room. The familiar face of his only friend in this hell became visible. “How ya doing, Shiro-chan?”_

_Toshiro felt saliva accumulate around his teeth and overflow through the edge of his lips. “Rei, you shouldn’t come near me right now…”_

_Rei just skipped over to Toshiro, seemingly unaware of how delectable he smelled. “Mama sent me to get you out of here! Isn’t that great?”_

_The human boy started to reach around his ghoul companion, probably to get to the locks, and the flesh of his arm was barely an inch away…_

_Sweet, sweet, sweet blood exploded in Toshiro’s mouth. He couldn’t remember actually taking a bite, but once he realized that his teeth were buried in Rei’s arm, tears cascaded from his eyes. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry…” he mumbled around Rei’s flesh._

_The human boy, however, just looked down at the ghoul with a tinge of amusement. “Wow, you must be really hungry, huh?”_

Toshiro bit into another candy defiantly.

After a couple of minutes had passed and about a quarter of the bag had disappeared into Toshiro’s stomach, someone barged through the door.

“Oh, sorry Toshiro. I didn’t know you were there.”

Toshiro looked over at the intruder. “Oh, it’s just you Karin. Waiting for your brother again?”

Karin had recently become a constant, though not unwelcome, presence in the Seireitei Coffee Shop. Her brother had recently started getting more involved in the Seireitei’s “ghoul organization” side, and started going out with Renji and Rukia to scope out threats like Aogiri, keep tabs on troublesome ghouls in the area, gather food, and figure out where the doves were going to hit so they could be prepared. Since Ichigo was always gone on these missions, Karin had taken to hanging around the Coffee Shop so she could get updated immediately if anything were to happen. For the past couple of months she had been coming over after school and working on homework either at one of the tables or in the staff room, depending on how busy they were. Today was one of the busy days.

Karin sat down on the chair across from Toshiro. “You don’t mind if I sit here do you? I’ve got two pages of math homework to do, a history paper to write, and a book to read for my literature class.”

Toshiro shrugged. It didn’t really affect him much if she was just going to do her work quietly. He would still be mostly alone with his thoughts. He popped another cube in his mouth.

Karin pulled the materials she needed out of her bag: two heavy textbooks, a smaller novel with a bookmark about halfway through it, a used notebook, and a pencil. She placed the one of the textbooks off to the side with the novel on top of it. She opened the other one and started doing problems in the notebook.

Toshiro observed her out of the corner of his eye. She was working intently, her black hair falling forward and obstructing his view of her face. Periodically she’d look over to the open textbook or brush her hair back to check her writing. Toshiro was enthralled by her human mannerisms, which she retained even though she wasn’t in public. Maybe it had to do with her half-human nature. Toshiro envied her. It must be nice to not have to constantly work to put on the act of “being human.” He would have liked to go to school and make new friends outside of Seireitei, but since it was so difficult to even maintain the persona to work at the coffee shop he couldn’t.

“Hey, what are you eating?”

Toshiro glared at Karin for interrupting his thoughts. “A sweet Ukitake makes. Usually ghoul customers put it in their coffee to get the edge off their hunger, but I like to eat them just like this.”

“Cool! Can I try them?”

Toshrio sighed, “I guess,” and handed over the bag.

Karin picked out one of the sweet cubes and placed it on her tongue. He face shifted into an expression of bliss for a few moments as she savored in the sweet. As soon as it had dissolved, Karin turned back to her work.

“Grrr, this doesn’t make any sense!”

“What’s the issue?” Toshiro asked.

She turned her textbook to show him what she was working on. “This calculation involves plugging in some really complicated numbers, and even includes taking the square root of a negative number. That’s not even possible!”

Toshiro looked over the problem carefully and checked her work. He didn’t understand anything about the theory and was about to had it back to her without a comment, but he noticed a certain place she made a mistake. “How did you get 12 plus negative 3 to equal 7?”

Karin blinked. “What?”

Toshiro pointed to the place she made the mistake. “Your addition is wrong here.”

Karin grabbed her notebook and looked it over. “You’re right! I can’t believe I made such a stupid mistake. Thanks, Toshiro!”

She quickly made the correction and went back to work. Toshiro smirked and leaned back in his seat. It felt nice to be able to help her. Toshiro liked to think that he was pretty smart, but his lack of formal education put him at a disadvantage. He recalled how he wasn’t able to figure out what the theory behind her work and felt a pang of regret.

“Toshiro, have you ever considered going to school?”

The white-haired boy was startled by the sudden question. “Um, I can’t.” He shifted in his seat, unhappy that she had asked such an uncomfortable question.

She blinked. “Really? I think you’d do well, since you’re so smart.”

Toshiro cleared his throat, embarrassed. “I’d stick out too much,” he hastily explained. “You know, because of my hair.” _And my inability to act human._

Karin frowned. “Have you seen my brother’s hair?”

That’s right, Ichigo’s orange hair also stood out. Damn it, she was seeing through his false excuse.

Karin sighed. “Well, do you want to? Go to school, I mean.”

Toshiro winced. “I already told you, I can’t.”

“That’s not what I asked.”

Toshiro sighed. _Well? Do I? If I was somehow able to act like a human better, would I want to go to school with a bunch of humans? Would I like to learn? Would I like to make friends?_

“Yes,” he replied.

Karin nodded. “You know, I’ve got a bunch of my old workbooks at home. I could bring them to teach you the same kind of stuff I’m learning in school.” She smiled. “Only if you want to, of course.”

Toshiro gasped. She would do that for him? “I’d… I’d really like that.” He mumbled, embarrassed to admit how much it meant to him.

“Really? Well, in that case…” Karin had a devious look in her eyes as she moved to sit next to Toshiro on the sofa. “Why don’t we start now? Karin-sensei thinks we should start with math. What do you know about quadratic equations?”

Toshiro groaned. “I’m not calling you sensei, Karin. And don’t you need to work on your homework?”

“I can do it later tonight. Now, about factoring…”

Karin taught Toshiro various subjects in math. Toshiro picked it up quickly, and eventually Karin decided that she had gotten him as far as she could without her extra workbooks and decided to switch to history. She summarized the events of each chapter in her textbook and helped him through some practice problems. They passed the bag of sweet cubes between them until there was only one left for them to fight over (Karin got it.) Neither one of them realized how much time had passed as the daylight disappeared outside the window.

Eventually a knock came at the door.

“Karin, I’m back,” Ichigo announced through the door. “We should leave if we want to be home in time for dinner.”

“Coming!” Karin replied as she packed up her stuff. “Sorry I wasn’t able to teach you more Toshiro. I promise to bring more schoolbooks tomorrow.”

“It’s alright.” Toshiro affirmed. “I really enjoyed learning what I could.”

Karin smiled at him. “I’m glad.” She ran out the door to greet her brother. “See ya, Toshiro!”

Toshiro waved goodbye to the girl and her brother. Ukitake came up beside him and placed his hand on the boy’s shoulder.

“Are you feeling better, Toshiro? I noticed that something has been bothering you all day,” The older man explained.

Toshiro considered Ukitake’s comment. He had been feeling cranky all day. He didn’t like being called Shiro-chan anytime, but he never snapped at her like he had earlier. When he thought about it more thoroughly he realized what the reason was.

“I’m sorry for being so angry earlier Ukitake. I was just remembering some unpleasant memories earlier. But it’s alright, I stopped thinking about them when I was with Karin.”

**Author's Note:**

> Before anyone asks, no, she didn't do that to Toshiro. The -chan suffix, although mirroring Rei, is indicating how child-like he looks, not missgendering him. I'm not that cruel.
> 
> Please Read, Review, bookmark, and kudos!


End file.
